Thursday, October 29, 2009

life as usual?

I'm up early this morning - did a 15 minute work out and got all clean and shiny... now it's time to relax and nag Damian about getting ready alternately.
Day before yesterday Damian got fitted with an ambulatory EEG machine and wore it for 24 hours, it was removed yesterday and life goes on as usual - other than the waiting to discover the results. Damian had an "event" while wearing the machine which means that he passed out cold and landed with eyes wide open completely unresponsive. I swooped in to soften the fall as I could see him heading face first, but I can't do anything else, the most frustrating things imaginable to me as a parent. So now, we wait.
My art has been taking a low priority to everything else in my life, but last weekend I went to my friend Michelle's and we were hip deep in arts and crafts after my visit to craft warehouse that morning. Right now I'm concentrating on getting my body healthy and hoping that my mind will follow. I've been exercising every single day for at least a half an hour for the past 2 weeks and have been keeping track of what I eat on sparkpeople.com. One more week to building a habit. I hate to talk about weight loss as it's hard for me to admit that I have a problem, but it's not likely anyone will be looking at me and not noticing that over the past year and a half I've gotten fat, it's just reality. What makes it really hard for me is that for over 11 years I had an active eating disorder - anorexia/bulimia. My metabolism is shot as a result and my self esteem as well... so it's important that I do this in a healthy way and don't let myself get too stressed, which is hard to do when you've got a child who has health issues and a job that requires a lot of you... but I'll just do my best. After all, I suppose for me, this is just life as usual.