Thursday, October 29, 2009

life as usual?

I'm up early this morning - did a 15 minute work out and got all clean and shiny... now it's time to relax and nag Damian about getting ready alternately.
Day before yesterday Damian got fitted with an ambulatory EEG machine and wore it for 24 hours, it was removed yesterday and life goes on as usual - other than the waiting to discover the results. Damian had an "event" while wearing the machine which means that he passed out cold and landed with eyes wide open completely unresponsive. I swooped in to soften the fall as I could see him heading face first, but I can't do anything else, the most frustrating things imaginable to me as a parent. So now, we wait.
My art has been taking a low priority to everything else in my life, but last weekend I went to my friend Michelle's and we were hip deep in arts and crafts after my visit to craft warehouse that morning. Right now I'm concentrating on getting my body healthy and hoping that my mind will follow. I've been exercising every single day for at least a half an hour for the past 2 weeks and have been keeping track of what I eat on sparkpeople.com. One more week to building a habit. I hate to talk about weight loss as it's hard for me to admit that I have a problem, but it's not likely anyone will be looking at me and not noticing that over the past year and a half I've gotten fat, it's just reality. What makes it really hard for me is that for over 11 years I had an active eating disorder - anorexia/bulimia. My metabolism is shot as a result and my self esteem as well... so it's important that I do this in a healthy way and don't let myself get too stressed, which is hard to do when you've got a child who has health issues and a job that requires a lot of you... but I'll just do my best. After all, I suppose for me, this is just life as usual.

5 comments:

Destree said...

Hey Shelby...what's in the water lately? Seems like we are all coming down with a case of the life blues. I need a shot of art right now, but just can't muster the energy. Wanna a lifeline? Me too.

Dayna Collins said...

Shelby, thanks for your honesty and authenticity in this post. I've been struggling with my weight and only recently started to make some drastic changes (like no more lattes since last Wednesday at 9:00 am!), so your words and action have inspired and encouraged me. I had sorta wondered where you'd gone and now I better understand. I miss you . . . I also have your art from Launch Pad so we're gonna HAVE to get together. I say find that creepy doll of yours and let's get you, me, and Destree together for some timed group art!

Destree said...

That sounds great Dayna...Shelby find your wayward doll!!!!

Destree said...

Creepy doll???? Did she come home yet?

shelby said...

creepy doll is home, in fact somehow she joined the other creepy dolls, including creepy doll head in the box I thought my Christmas ornaments were in... imagine my surprise!
Happy Solstice!